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CONFLICT & REPAIR · 0:18

The next move is pattern recognition

“I don’t feel safe bringing things up.” The person may anticipate dismissal, escalation, or emotional cost. Try this: I want to take that seriously. What response from me has made it harder to bring things up? What phrase always starts the same fight? Self-help only — not therapy, diagnosis, or emergency support.

Three takeaways

  1. The person may anticipate dismissal, escalation, or emotional cost.
  2. Demanding examples before acknowledging the experience.
  3. Saying “you can tell me anything” without changing the pattern.
  4. I want to take that seriously. What response from me has made it harder to bring things up?

Video transcript

You said: I don’t feel safe bringing things up. The person may anticipate dismissal, escalation, or emotional cost. Demanding examples before acknowledging the experience. Try this: I want to take that seriously. What response from me has made it harder to bring things up?

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